Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Commercial Incongruity

Since the weather has been so atrocious, I've been watching more television than usual. I'm totally appalled at the commercials I see. Herpes, erectile dysfunction and depression medications, tampons, feminine pads, botox, weight loss, intimate lubricant, and countless others. It's no wonder we have a society filled with dysfunctional, unaccountable, over-medicated people obsessed with their appearance.

Ladies, if you don't use Always Panty Liners with attached fresh wipe you won't smell fresh and no man using Viagra will yearn to be near you let alone try out his 4 hour erection.

If you have Herpes, be sure to still have intercourse, because although this medication will not stop the spread of the virus, it can help with those pesky break outs.

K-Y Intimate Lubricant will give you all day and night intimacy--men may need Cialis for this scenario since it works for up to 36 hours.

If you are feeling down take Cymbalta because it's the cure all-pill for depression, aches, pains, boredom and will even help you walk the dog!

Over-weight and hate exercising? No Problem-o! Pop a few Hydroxycut or Dexatrim pills and the pounds will melt away while you lie on the sofa gorging on Doritos and Pepsi.

Cover your body with Chanel No. 5, your face with Revlon Anti-Age Defying Foundation, your eyelashes with Maybeline mascara and lips with Clinique lipstick; color your hair with Preference by L'Oreal, because you’re worth it, and you'll be beautiful and flawless, and men will swarm to you like bees on honey, of course they'll have taken those Cialis pills, so make sure you're ready for 36 hours of fun!

Men once your hair plugs have healed, go finance that shiny red sports car. After all, a credit score of 750 is sure to lure the painted ladies that look so thin and smell so fresh!


The cosmetic industry is cashing in on our physical insecurities. They are raking in billions of dollars a year. And it's not just the cosmetic companies. The pharmaceutical companies are just as bad, if not worse. They make you feel like you need a pill because you cried on Monday. Or if your eyes are a bit dry, you better get a prescription for that, too. Maybe your eyes are dry because your office furnace is 100 years old and it's blowing allergens around all day.

There are some conditions that are just plain normal, but these companies would have you believe that you're anything but. It's sad, quite frightening really, that consumers actually believe the claims made on television, radio, print and now the internet. If there were such a pill that truly melted unwanted pounds without exercise, don't you think the physicians would have it and it would only be available by prescription? Or as they say--if something sounds to good to be true, it probably is.

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