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Tuesday, May 24, 2011

GOP Contenders Need Awesomeness Like Obama!

I just want to tell the GOP candidates currently running for the 2012 Presidency to STOP. You don’t have a snowball’s chance in hell of winning.

According to the Left, EVERY GOP candidate is a stupid jackass and should go crawl under a rock, because none of them can walk and chew gum at the same time, let alone comb their own hair! And forget about speaking! They sound like Elmo with a wad of gum and crackers in their mouth, plus they can’t pronounce anything correctly. How could any of them stand up to Obama—the genius? He’ll wipe the floor with all of them at a debate, at the same time, with both of his hands tied behind his back, his eyes closed and his mouth duct taped!

We heard for years that Bush was a complete and utter moron even though he graduated from Yale. But that was ONLY because Daddy Bush purchased his grades! The man couldn’t pronounce nuclear, for Pete’s sake! Never mind that Obama mispronounced corpsman, not once, but two times…that was the teleprompter’s fault! The man went to Harvard! He’s a walking Einstein. No, we don’t have a clue what his IQ is or his grades at Harvard, but that doesn’t matter, and how dare you even ask, you racist! Look at him walk! He’s awesome! He reeks of awesomeness and if the Republican candidates even dream of defeating him, they are either certifiably insane or on drugs and the MSM will be all over that in a New York minute!

Don’t forget that Obama is the American dream come true, because he gave us Hope and Change. I know we’re still hoping the economy will turn around and the unemployment rate will change to below 9% and people will find jobs and stop losing their homes. But that’s Bush’s fault! I realize we’re hoping gasoline prices will fall, but Bush and his oil buddies don’t have enough money yet…those greedy bastards! And if we hoped enough, these things would change. If Bush would just go away all the hopey-changey-happy-feely would transpire!

People need to get their heads out of their butts and just look at Obama! He walks, talks, stands, stares and even stutters awesomely! There is NO way that sappy Gingrich is going to beat HIM! And Bachmann, oh right. That woman is so stupid— she can’t tell the difference between our Constitution and the Dictionary! But Obama, he’s a friggin’ Constitutional Scholar!

In short, the GOP sucks. They are ALL scum-sucking-heartless-granny-killing-poverty-inducing-rich-loving-brainless-wackjobs and should be thrown out on their ears. The party should be abolished because it’s useless! It hasn’t done a damn thing right in decades! It bankrupted this country with its deregulation and tax cuts for the evil rich.

So, GOP candidates, beware if you decide to continue down this path. It will be at your peril. Obama has it in the bag already…he’s a sure winner. His awesomeness will be the clincher! So, if you can find and buy yourself some awesomeness, do it, or else…

**Parody post, in case you didn’t know. I just had to write this considering I’ve been reading how the GOP candidates are being ripped apart already due to their appearance or their accent…and of course, every one of them are utter dolts, according to the Left. I have yet to hear one based on policy, which is what I thought it was about. I’m hoping it’s only because we still have a lot of time before 2012, because I’d hate to debate the Left on these non-issues, they are really silly.**

***Crossposted @ Rational Nation USA***


  1. There are GOP contenders that ARE good, but they can't pass the litmus test that the far right makes them take.

    John Huntsman is a strong candidate, and so is Mitt Romney. Mitch Daniels would have been a good candidate as well.

    Romney, unfortunately, feels he has to walk back his health care bona fides, and the fact that he did support a woman's right to choose.

    Huntsman was a very successful governor and has lots going for him, but, again, he's not an extreme rightie.

    It's a shame that the Daniels had to make the decision not to run so that their private lives (marriage) would be put under a microscope. Daniels is smart and could have been a contender.

    These men are all presidential. I'm sorry, but Bachmann is not, nor is Gringrich. And yes, we Americans, for better or worse, expect "charisma" in our presidents, and Pawlenty doesn't have it.

    Remember, the Independents make a difference in presidential elections, and they do not go for extremists on either side.

    I know you don't like Obama, but he sure is not an extremist, despite what the right's noise machine says. He has alienated the far lefties--they dislike him as much as the right does. LOL!

    Obama is a centrist, much to many lefties' chagrin.

    I would not denigrate Romney, Huntsman, or Daniels. They are all intelligent men who could run a good campaign.

    The problem lies with the extremists in the GOP.


  2. At this point, the best candidate I see is Cain- He ran a major corporation successfully, has charisma, and is HONEST! God, what a refreshing option!!!

  3. NFO, unfortunately, the other day, Cain demonstrated he didn't know about an important foreign policy issue nor the difference between the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence.

    I'm sure Mr. Cain is a nice man, but being a businessman is not necessarily a plus. Mr. Bush was a businessman, and we experienced the worst financial disaster since the Great Depression during his administration.

  4. Ron Paul ought to be a contender. However, I as much as I like his conservative libertaian fiscal positions, and his recognition that the MIC (military industrial complex) must be reigned in, I realize he is seen by a majority as to far out on the fringe.

    This is unfortunate. Were he elected President we might see real change.

    Until someone like Paul gains mass public support no realchange will occur.

    It will continue to be 8 years republican, 8 years democrat, 8 years republican, 8 years democrat...

    The results of each cycle will be pretty much the same.

  5. Sorry, Shaw. The far right has no presence or power in modern American politics, just as the far left does not.

    Obama is a leftist, but is more to the center than many Dems like.

    As for Ron Paul, remember this statement he made: ""Boy, it sure burns me to have a national holiday for that pro-communist philanderer, Martin Luther King. I voted against this outrage time and time again as a Congressmen [sic]. What an infamy that Ronald Reagan approved it! We can thank him for our annual Hate Whitey Day."

    He also wants to strip some US citizens of citizenship based on certain crimes committed by their parents/

  6. Obama is a Leftist??? Har, har, har.

  7. I seldom see anyone on the left attack Republican candidates for their "appearance or accent". Most of the attacks focus on them being ignorant (Palin, Trump, Cain), hypocritical (Gingrich), extremist (Bachmann, Palin), grossly temperamentally unsuited to the job (Palin, Trump), or hostile to individual freedom and to separation of church and state (pretty much all of them). These are all legitimate reasons for objecting to a candidate for President.

    For non-nutty candidates, the Republican party is now pretty much down to Romney and Huntsman. Both of them happen to be Mormons, which isn't an issue for most liberals but is decidedly an issue to the raving fundies who will dominate the Republican primaries. That's a self-inflicted problem; the left had nothing to do with it.

    Jindal and Rubio, by the way, may run into problems with the birthers if they ever seek the Presidency. The revolution devours its own.

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  9. nfidel said; "I seldom see anyone on the left attack Republican candidates for their "appearance or accent".

    It's happened a lot on a certain left-wing blog that many of us read and comment on... in regards to Sarah Palin. I've seen her bashed for how she pronounces President, for being a woman, and for wearing boots.

    The first is odd coming from people who wrote about Ted Kennedy a lot but never criticized him for mispronouncing words like "Cuba".

    One of the silliest examples of Palin-bashing was when she was bashed for letting her daughter go on a dance TV show. Even if it matters at all in any way, the daughter in question is of majority age and can go on any TV she want whether or not her mother "lets" her.

    This happens a lot.

    "Most of the attacks focus on them being ignorant (Palin, Trump, Cain),"

    The same left-wing blog bashed Cain for being black.

    "Most of the attacks focus on them being....extremist (Bachmann, Palin)"

    Sorry, words should be used with meaning. Just because they do not share our views does not make them "extremist". The word should be used with care for actual extremists, not for mainstream people we happen to disagree with.

    "Jindal and Rubio, by the way, may run into problems with the birthers if they ever seek the Presidency. The revolution devours its own."

    Reminds me. The same left-wing blog was bashing Jindal a year or two ago for being "colored".

    No, sorry. People should stick to substantive matters, instead of bashing people for being black, 'colored', wearing boots, being am other, or having an adult daughter who goes on TV shows.

  10. Les. said:

    "Obama is a Leftist??? Har, har, har."

    This is quite factual. He is a leftist when you measure from the political center. Next subject...

  11. And in an update, the same blog now contains a comment from one of the left-wing commentators calling Sarah Palin a whore.

    I guess they take a page from Jerry Brown's campaigning against Meg Whitman in California.

  12. Pamela, you had me until the last paragraph. Delete it, and I think you've nailed it. The last sentence of the second to last paragraph... that should go to. The Repub canidates can't buy awesomeness.

    Karl Rove and his buddies will try and buy some phony awesomeness -- and some will be fooled -- but it won't be enough. Not unless the Repubs completely rebuke Paul Ryan's plan to kill seniors. It does not appear as though any are going to though.

    I also completely agree that bush should go away... for a very long time. Him and all the other war criminals from his administration.

  13. dmarks - It was... Leslie Parsley who said... "Obama is a Leftist??? Har, har, har."

    Yes, in his philosophy as it pertains to government and his statist proclivities he is indeed a progressive collectivist. His leftist beliefs are indeed a real threat to our republic, just as are the neo-con's beliefs.

    It remains for future generations to resolve. This one is obviously incapable of resolving much of anything.

  14. w-dervish said: "I also completely agree that bush should go away... for a very long time. Him and all the other war criminals from his administration."

    Sorry, there were no war crimes. This is an excellent example of over-the-top partisan bashing. We should step back from making ludicrous false accusations against Presidents.

  15. w-dervish said: "Not unless the Repubs completely rebuke Paul Ryan's plan to kill seniors."

    It's hard to rebuke something that simply does not exist.

  16. Speaking of foreign policy:


    Yeah, we have a fully qualified person in charge of foreign policy now. This revolution going on in the Middle East and North Africa has been in the planning stages for over 50 years, and our own president is playing right into it and even funding it.

    Shaw, love ya, hope you're doing well, but Huntsman is not a good GOP candidate for me. He might be for you so that we can be defeated again.

    Hope the rest of you are weathering this economy and in good health.


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