Sunday, July 12, 2009

A Letter to Uncle Sam*

Dear Uncle Sam,

I know you’re busy, what with all your other nieces and nephews; but I wanted to write to let you know that lately, you’ve been on my mind and I’m compelled to write you. And you know me, when I’m compelled; nothing short of a natural disaster will dissuade me. Must’ve inherited that from dear old dad, eh?

The reason for my letter is really rather simple. I want to express my deepest appreciation to you of course, and all my other Aunts and Uncles there on Capitol Hill. I apologize for not getting up there for a visit. Working, raising children, taking care of ailing family members, my own health issues and other day to day activities just doesn’t leave much time for leisurely activities or vacations. Not to mention the expense. Gas, food, utilities, taxes, oh and my not getting a raise in awhile has left us cutting back in quite a few areas, so we can’t vacation again this year. Maybe next year, if this recession lets up. I hope you’re not too disappointed.

But I digressed. I want to say thank you, Uncle Sam. Thank you for all you’ve done for so many of my fellow Americans. Without you I don’t know where they’d be. You’ve made it possible for millions of people to survive! They have roofs over their heads, televisions with cable to watch the happenings in this great nation, utilities to keep them warm in the winter and cool in the summer, cell phones to call the authorities in case of an emergency, you provide them with down payments for cars so they can get to the grocery store where they can use the money you send them to purchase food or nonessentials like soda pop, cookies and chips and you provide them with free health care when they are sick or have an accident. You are so benevolent and selfless. My heart just swells when I think of all the compassionate things you do for so many who won’t do for themselves.


I also feel the necessity to thank you for the regulations and policies you’ve set for us Americans. We wear seat belts because you tell us it’s safe and if we don’t we pay a fine. That’s a good law, because we’re not intelligent enough to do this on our own. We have fire safety cigarettes now because we’re not responsible enough to make sure our cigarettes are snuffed out and our houses could burn down. This is such a relief. But, even if our house did burn down, you made sure we have rules in place that require home owner’s insurance because we aren’t smart enough to know this is a wise investment when we have a home, with or without a mortgage. I’m also relieved that you made laws to ensure we pay our taxes, even though many Aunts and Uncles on Capitol Hill, who are experts on the tax laws or even wrote them, hiccup or don’t understand the very codes they’ve written, don’t pay them. It’s an oversight, I’m sure, since Capitol Hill is such a busy place with so many so concerned with the welfare of us Americans. For example, when you give each other pay raises in the middle of the night while I’m sleeping. It’s so considerate of you not to bother me with such petty things like increasing your salaries while mine stay stagnant. After all, I’m taking sleeping pills to try and sleep because I’m under so much stress due to the stock market crash and losing half my retirement and wondering how I’m going to put your grandnephews through college now or just worrying if I’ll even have a job tomorrow. It’s nice to know you have my back. I’m sure the rest of my fellow Americans are just as grateful. Being an American is, nevertheless, being compassionate, and if we can’t take care of our Aunts and Uncles in Congress, then who can we take care of, right?

I mean the least we can do is provide you with 175K a year salary, pensions for life, a fleet of vehicles that resemble a Mercedes dealership, first class air fare, your own cafeterias, paid vacations at Resorts while you discuss the Nation’s business or have classes on how to cut out unnecessary expenditures or wasteful spending and SS benefits even if you don’t pay into the fund. You are after all, public servants and should receive any and all benefits from the public!

Sometimes, Uncle Sam, I’m at a loss for words. There is just too much I want to say to you and not enough time or paper to express it all. But I want to say one last thing. I sure hope you can get that health care program passed. I know you said it would compete with private insurance. But I know you, Uncle, once you get involved in something it’s ALL or nothing. You’ll start out insuring the so-called “uninsured” for now, but before we know it, you’ll have EVERYONE insured! You’re amazing like that you know! You write those long thousand page bills that we average Americans can barely understand and you don’t even expect us to. It’s so thoughtful of you to not want us to waste our time, due to the busy lives we lead, to worry about what’s shoved into those monstrous amendments. I just hope the health care bill will tell me what I should eat, when I should exercise and I sure hope it taxes fast food places like McDonald’s and all those horrible sugary drinks and any food that is bad for me. I also hope you will make sure that anyone who doesn’t take care of himself, as you deem appropriate, and is obese or drinks alcohol or smokes, goes to the end of the line when trying to get doctors’ appointments or medical help. And I’m confident you’ll make sure senior citizens will pass a test before they drain our health care system. After all, they’ve lived long lives already and should be cared for after the young. But I’m certain you have this already figured out and I have no need for trepidation. The health care bill will probably pass like the stimulus, speedy-quick and without anyone reading it and it will have other items included which have absolutely nothing to do with health care. But why should I worry? You’re all so honest and you were placed in Congress to take care of me and my fellow Americans; to do what we want; so I should be able to rest peacefully…

Sincerely,
Your Niece



*For those who don’t know; this is satirical.

26 comments:

  1. Dear Niece;

    Thank you for your thoughtful letter. Please rest assured that all that you have asked for, and so much more will be accomplished.

    Also, it is my belief that having cash in your pockets puts too much strain on ones bodies, there for I will be working on a plan whereby I will have all the cash and anything you or my other nieces and nephews need, you will only have to ask and I will issue you a voucher.

    All the best,

    Your Loving Uncle Sam

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  2. Dear Mr. Obama: Take a breath. Listen to the people. Let's just slow down and get some input from some non politicians on the subject. Stop making everything an emergency. Stop speed reading our bills into law. I am not an activist. I am not a community organizer. Nor am I a terrorist, a militant or a violent person. I am a parent and a grandparent. I work. I'm busy. I'm busy. I am busy, and I am tired. I thought we elected competent people to take care of the business of government so that we could work, raise our families, pay our bills, have a little recreation, complain about taxes, endure our hardships, pursue our personal goals, cut our lawn, wash our cars on the weekends and be responsible contributing members of society and teach our children to be the same all while living in the home of the free and land of the brave.

    I entrusted you with upholding the Constitution. I believed in the checks and balances to keep from getting far off course. What happened? You are very far off course. Do you really think I find humor in the hiring of a speed reader to unintelligently ramble all through a bill that you signed into law without knowing what it contained? I do not. It is a mockery of the responsibility I have entrusted to you. It is a slap in the face. I am not laughing at your arrogance. Why is it that I feel as if you would not trust me to make a single decision about my own life and how I would live it but you should expect that I should trust you with the debt that you have laid on all of us and our children. We did not want the TARP bill. We said no. We would repeal it if we could. I am sure that we still cannot. There is such urgency and recklessness in all of the recent spending.

    From my perspective, it seems that all of you have gone insane. I also know that I am far from alone in these feelings. Do you honestly feel that your current pursuits have merit to patriotic Americans? We want it to stop. We want to put the brakes on everything that is being rushed by us and forced upon us. We want our voice back. You have forced us to put our lives on hold to straighten out the mess that you are making. We will have to give up our vacations, our time spent with our children, any relaxation time we may have had and money we cannot afford to spend on you to bring our concerns to Washington. Our president often knows all the right buzzword is unsustainable. Well, no kidding. How many tens of thousands of dollars did the focus group cost to come up with that word? We don't want your overpriced words. Stop treating us like we're morons.

    We want all of you to stop focusing on your reelection and do the job we want done, not the job you want done or the job your party wants done. You work for us and at this rate I guarantee you not for long because we are coming. We will be heard and we will be represented. You think we're so busy with our lives that we will never come for you? We are the formerly silent majority, all of us who quietly work , pay taxes, obey the law, vote, save money, keep our noses to the grindstone and we are now looking up at you. You have awakened us, the patriotic spirit so strong and so powerful that it had been sleeping too long. You have pushed us too far. Our numbers are great. They may surprise you. For every one of us who will be there, there will be hundreds more that could not come. Unlike you, we have trust. We want honestly.
    Democrat, Republican, independent, libertarian. Understand this. We don't care. Political parties are meaningless to us. Patriotic Americans are willing to do right by us and our Constitution and that is all that matters to us now. We are going to fire all of you who abuse power and seek more. It is not your power. It is ours and we want it back. We entrusted you with it and you abused it. You are dishonorable. You are dishonest. As Americans we are ashamed of you. You have brought shame to us.

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  3. That was a a touching letter Pam. and perhaps a relief to get it off your chest, but the letter should be going to Obama not to Uncle Sam. Uncle Sam is on our side..

    Dear Mr. President...Please stop manipulating and trying to appease us with clever wording. I am not the idiot you obviously take me for. Stop sneaking around and meeting in back rooms making deals with your friends. It will only be a prelude to your criminal investigation. Your illusion of "Hope" and "Change" is nothing but an illusion. Yes there are people who will drink the Koolaide and believe that hoax, but I don't an neither do millions of others like me.
    Stop hiding things from us. Don't pass bill in the middle of the night when no one has the chance to see, no less read them. And most of all, please give us back our country that you have all but destroyed in a short 6 months.

    And know this Mr. Obama We the real people, the people that love America and the people that fought for her and the people that pay their taxes and obey the law, did not vote for you.

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  4. All I wanted to say and more. Our politicians seem to be less and less concerned about what the country needs and more and more concerned with what benefits them. It's gone on long enough and democrats and republicans alike need to wake up and start demanding what we want and when they come up for re-election we should vote everyone of them out!!

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  5. Thank you Pam for a wonderful job.
    And the Most Rev. Gregori for a wonderful reply

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  6. Reverend: It’s been awhile since you’ve stopped by. It’s nice seeing you again.

    Also, it is my belief that having cash in your pockets puts too much strain on ones bodies, there for I will be working on a plan whereby I will have all the cash

    THAT is priceless, but unfortunately, all TOO true!

    Frank: Thanks for your “letter.” As I mentioned in mine, there isn’t enough paper to write everything I want to say!


    Deboniar: If I’m not mistaken, the first time the term “Uncle Sam” was used was back in 1812 and it’s been used ever since as the nation’s image of the United States Government. So, I don’t think I’m wrong in addressing this “letter” to Uncle Sam.

    You’re right, the “Hope” is an illusion; however, I believe the “Change” is very real. We are changing, but it’s not for the better.

    Jennifer: I’m hopeful that 2010 will show some of these “career politicians” that they aren’t untouchable and then maybe we’ll start to see some changes. But you’re right…we need to clean HOUSE!

    LovelyPrism & Wordsmith: I’m glad you both enjoyed it.

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  7. Pam: Liked the letter. If I were writing the letter, it would have those things, plus things aimed at Republicans, too.

    Things like, "Thank you for keeping these regulations that keep me safe from myself, like the fire-safe cigarette. And thank you for repealing those regulations that keep the big corporations from repeating the Great Depression, silly things like Glass-Steagall, which I'm sure are outdated and had nothing to do with our current situation, even if it closely mirrors things from the '30s...."

    and then things that are bipartisan:
    "Thank you for giving our executive branch so much new power, power that historically Congress has had. I know its hard for all of them to keep up, so its probably better to concentrate that power in the president, so he can pass things like the PATRIOT act, things like the stimulus, and then anyone who opposes him will be punished. I know we said we didn't like that sort of thing when Nixon was being investigated, but you're probably smarter than I am, so you ahead and keep making each successive president more like a king."

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  8. James' Muse said...
    "Pam: Liked the letter. If I were writing the letter, it would have those things, plus things aimed at Republicans, too."


    James, maybe Pam will use your idea next time, or maybe not.
    After all it IS her blog.

    There are times when I want to to sit in my chair for just one day and feel like it was a good day.
    My first, second and third reaction to your post was to shake my head at what a stupid attitude and reaction YOU had to Pam's marvelous blog. .

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  9. There is merit inwhat you and Frank said Pamela.



    Outstanding comment Frank: "Let's just slow down and get some input from some non politicians on the subject. Stop making everything an emergency. Stop speed reading our bills into law. I am not an activist. I am not a community organizer. Nor am I a terrorist, a militant or a violent person. I am a parent and a grandparent. I work. I'm busy. I'm busy. I am busy, and I am tired. I thought we elected competent people to take care of the business of government so that we could work, raise our families, pay our bills, have a little recreation, complain about taxes, endure our hardships, pursue our personal goals, cut our lawn, wash our cars on the weekends and be responsible contributing members of society and teach our children to be the same all while living in the home of the free and land of the brave"

    We may disagree on the level of government, but Frank's statement looks like it addresses the concerns of everyone.

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  11. James: As I mentioned in my letter, there isn’t enough paper to say everything I want.


    Here to Say: Thanks for stopping by. Marvelous eh? Wow.


    Truth: Yes, I believe more and more Americans are waking up and taking notice that our Government is out of control and it’s high time WE took back the power. They work for us, not the other way around.

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  12. your gonna need a lot more than a pretty fictitious letter to help your lost cause.

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  13. Gray Head: Why the hate, man? Give it a rest. What lost cause is there in trying to improve our country?

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  14. My whole damned blog is a "Dear Obugger" letter, so I'll just not go there.

    I will say, Pamela, this is an excellent piece that you should email to each every member of the House and Senate, ccing the president, his cabinet members, and all 32, 33, 34, or whatever it is now that Rattner bugged out (Hooray!), czars appointed to lord over us without having to go through any Congressional approval whatsoever. Not that such approval is stopping Miss Superior Latina.

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  15. I think a huge problem is how our senators and reps are elected for many terms and paid so much. Maybe if we only let them be senators or reps for one term, and actually elected regular citizens more often, we'd cut down on the corruption.

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  16. Great blog Pam, too bad that some people (Gray Head) can't appreciate it.

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  17. President Obama at the NAACP was wonderful.
    Such a proud time in America's history! First Hispanic woman to the United States Supreme Court AND our first President of Color. A proud time in America!

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  18. you know what i am most proud of my dear niece, that this land has recognized the idea of a created human being. yes granting people that freedom will mean we will have fallen problems, but not denying humans their "rights" is a greater sin that any "average" man can commit. i hope my legacy of providing this truth will be around as long as me!!... yours truly uncle sam!

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  19. Complainers are worth nothingJuly 24, 2009 at 2:58 AM

    If you treated your citizenship and attention to your government more seriously than the tone of this letter, maybe we wouldn't be in this mess. As a typical conservative you would rather our government just disappeared. The party of NO.Defeatist.

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  20. Gray: Sarcasm aside, we have a lot to be proud of in the United States of America.


    Pat: What a pure way to look at our country. I enjoy seeing the world thru your eyes, my friend.



    Complainers Aren’t Worth Nothing: This letter was NOT meant to be serious as the *disclaimer* stated.

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  21. A unique perspective worthy of something I would want to write! Congratulations!

    This represents a distinction I have noted long ago between Liberals and Conservatives.

    Conservatives believe in personal responsibility, and Liberals think they know better than we do about what is best for us. so, they do what they think is best for us.

    It all boils down to those two ideological differences.

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  22. Gray headed brother:

    Obama is a Marxist. And you, sir, are a racist bigot.

    Obama doesn't have your interests in mind. He has his own interests in mind. His and no one else's.

    It doesn't matter what color he is. I find it ironic that the most racist people in America are those who label everyone else a racist.

    You know, like those racist bigots Al Sharpton, Henry Louis Gates, the Grand Wizard of the KKK (whoever he is), and Jesse Jackson.

    If Obama was the greatest President in history, it wouldn't be because he is black. He IS the worst President ever, and that isn't because he's black, either.

    It is because he is a Marxist, and, Gray headed brother, Marxists can be any color.

    Stop judging people on the color of their skin and start judging them on the content of their character.

    Your bigotry makes me sick.

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  23. Super letter, Pam (glad to get to know you through it)

    And I liked Frank's very much, too.

    Good comments..Truth101, you give me hope for liberals :-)

    Gray Headed Brother; if the Blacks and Hispanics in our government were for America and the constitution, and not socialists who believe color trumps character like you prove you do here, I'd be thrilled at their ascensions, too.

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  24. What the heck is up with all these posters declaring that they are speaking for all Americans?? I agree with NOTHING Frank or "Debonair Dude" said. I am not "ashamed" of President Obama. Guess I'm not one of those "real people" Frank refers to. I proudly voted for Mr. Obama.

    BTW the guy who should be the subject of a criminal investigation is the former president, not the current one. He is the one who brought shame to our country.

    A respected college professor who was the victim of false arrest and two civil rights activists (with the exception of the head of the KKK, whoever that may be) are the most racist people in America??!!

    People who call out racism when they see it are themselves racist?? Weak. Really weak. Sorry Mark, I ain't buying your nonsense.

    Mr. Obama is not a Marxist, or a socialist, or the worst president ever. The worst just left office. Mr. Obama was left with his mess.

    As for Pamela D's letter, while I disagreed with most of what she wrote, I do share her hope regarding health care...

    She said, "I sure hope you can get that health care program passed. ...before we know it, you'll have EVERYONE insured!"

    For some reason I fear the Reublicans and blue dog Democrats will either destroy or serverely weaken the health care bill. I really hope you're right and everyone is covered, but I have some serious doubts as to whether or not we'll get even a good public option.

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